I heard a great truth the other day.

A bully is just a coward in hiding. 

Ideally, the longer one is on this earth there are truths that become evident because of that time and experience one has had to watch and learn. I agree. Bullying is cowardly behavior. A courageous person does not take the offensive. There is no need. Yet a bully’s fear level is high for whatever reason. And that often looks like anger. Bullying is a form of attack, to keep others off balance, put them on the defensive…. for the bully’s reasons, not anyone else’s.

Depending on whether it is a bully on the playground or in high level politics, the point of bullying is to attack and manipulate.  Those attacked are forced to react to the attack rather than seeing behind the bully’s motivation, like what the bully might be hiding. Maybe it is like the shell game the magician does, with 3 shells on a table, one hiding a  pearl, yet with fast hands the viewer loses track of the shell with the pearl underneath. The bully stays on the offensive, coming out of left field or attacking unexpectedly , so his “victims”  are looking at one thing (the shells)  while the bully’s true issue is really something else. That behavior is not courageous in my mind.

Courage is knowing yourself, speaking your truth and doing no harm. Manipulating others can be masterly I suppose, yet I would rather see a world where we used our creativity for connecting ourselves to one another rather than alienating people through attack and the bully’s fear. And bullies blame others and don’t take responsibility for their actions it seems. And why does a bully act like a victim, as though he/she has been wronged?

If we knew what the bullies in our lives were afraid of maybe we could bring down the decibel level and start some constructive conversations. And imagine if the bullies knew what they were afraid of and started to take responsibility for it? Mmmmm, just imagine.

It’s good to be a seeker, but sooner or later you have to be a finder. And then it is well to give what you have found, a gift into the world for whoever will accept it.

– Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Do you like to laugh? Do you need a laugh? What is it about animal videos and either the antics alone, or the voice over that can just make us laugh out loud? Truly, I do laugh out loud with some of these.

The link below is one of my all time favorites. I was delighted when a friend just reminded me of it and sent it again.

May you LOL.

Alan Alan Alan

This quote is powerful, inspiring and long lived. It may be older than some of us, so the truth of it seems to have aged deliciously too.

Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. 

I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”

—  W. H. Murray,  The Scottish Himalayan Expedition

Published by J.M. Dent & Sons Ltd., 1951

“No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to
another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out
roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The
greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind
themselves.”   ~ Amelia Earhart

For those of us who have lived in many places over our lifetime, a young friend leaving for university, gave me this quote she found online:

“You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.”   – girlgi.com

We both found comfort in it, as between us, we do have friends and family all over the world. Often we look at those who still live in the same town where they were born,  are deliciously happy and wonder why are we thousands of miles away from our beginnings? Yet our choices make us who we are, and there is a richness in loving and knowing people in one place, or in more than one place. Savor what is.

Have you found that sometimes words get in the way of understanding? Is that why we feel we understand our animals so well? No words come from them to us, yet we feel understood and connected?

With verbal humans sometimes it seems the best thing to do is to summarize what you think the other person said, and wait for him/her to agree or clarify. How many misunderstandings are because those involved have a slightly different meaning for or association to the words used? Checking for meaning when in discussion is one of the best lessons to learn as a means to reduce conflict, misunderstandings and misinterpretations.

Humans and conflict seem to go hand in hand. Misunderstandings or conflict are regular occurrences between and among humans, be it with a partner, neighbor, or country. It is how we approach conflict that determines the outcome. Are we threatened? Angry? Jealous? Curious? Confused? Surprised? Is our mind open or are we closed minded? Do we address it, listen, bully, attack, deny , bury it, or stuff it?

Many of us long for opportunities to talk through our different viewpoints, listen carefully to one another, consider, take time for reflection, and be curious to understand and be understood. That seems the true way to reach fresh and sustainable solutions to what we face.