Not Knowing

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“Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all.” – Pema Chodron, Buddhist Monk, teacher, author

Isn’t our day made up of mostly not knowing, the kind of ongoing “not knowing” like if our appointments will be on time, or not knowing if we used enough deodorant? Certainly the not knowing Pema Chodron refers to is of the deeper and inner personal variety, but not knowing is part of being human and living this life. We, westerners seem to want certainty and security in our lives, in our jobs, families, leaders and in our day-to-day.

Insurance was created to offer security and guarantees for people. Be it life, home or medical; insurance exists to ideally offer a safety net against bad things happening, the unknown. It is a growth industry that we pay regularly almost as a gamble should we have a mishap and need resources to get us through. Insurance is like hedging our bets. We want to know there is a limit to our risk. Yet times are changing and even the insurers aren’t comfortable with the risk and “not knowing” anymore.

Many of us may want to control or mitigate that feeling of not knowing. Maybe we are facing something about ourselves, like not knowing how we come across to others versus how we imagine we come across ? Or do we do things that may distract us from what we don’t know and can’t control? Not knowing is uncomfortable but what if we embraced not knowing? Or at the very least accepted and expected it, allowing for there to be room for the not knowing in our lives? Can we leave room for not knowing and in that space also hold onto a sense of calm, and maybe even feel some quiet joy, in the face of not knowing what is next?

If we’d grown up understanding “not knowing “as a healthy and inevitable part of being alive, we might reframe the fear that the feeling of not knowing can invoke, and treat it as “mystery”. Mystery is more about curiosity and wonder, and that energy might better serve us when we allow room for not knowing.

As Seneca, a Stoic philosopher wrote, “The whole future lives in uncertainty: live immediately.”

Gloria Steinem Life Lessons

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Writer and equality activist Gloria Steinem died this month at 92. There are tons of articles and media footage covering her full and rich life. At the age of 92 she gave several interviews including the one below for Glamour in her home, and another as part of the Netflix series, “Famous Last Words”.

Based on these most recent interviews, it would be fair to surmise that Gloria “aged deliciously”. She had a zest for life, was curious, humble and hopeful. She believed everyone had a unique and rich story to tell and when we listened to one another’s stories it was fertile ground for compassion to grow. And in her experience compassion is a key ingredient in treating one another as equals. As well as shared laughter.

Gloria had natural gathering instincts and she regularly hosted conversational or story telling circles in her Manhattan living room throughout her life. As communal creatures she said we do better together, listening, sharing our stories and being part of a collective. Those friends and gatherings seemed to be a consistent anchor and lift for her creativity, productivity and joy in life.

Enjoy this link of Gloria Steinem at 92 sharing some of her lessons learned : https://youtu.be/PJNmEKdymro?si=HcPxhr7di9nQGOmp

A Good Laugh

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“A good laugh is sunshine in the house.” ~ William Makepeace Thackeray (1811-1863) English novelist and illustrator.

We use the term laugh out loud a lot (LOL) yet few of us seem to actually laugh out loud. What does our laugh out loud laugh sound like? We might smile or nod to signify, yes that is funny, but actually laughing out loud, when did we last do that? As we age it can be rarer for some reason, yet as children we could be bent over and rocking with the hilarity at a situation or joke or just hearing some new words that seemed silly.

A good laugh is sunshine in the house. A striking and pleasant thought, that laughing is like sunshine or lightness to have around, and when people together can laugh and be amused, it is beautiful and a great spirit lift. Laughter can break tension and drop barriers, at least for a moment. And laughter amongst friends or non-comedians is a different kind of laughter moment, more sunshine maybe than generic humor for the masses.

A good laugh says so much. A good laugh seems to include being delightfully surprised by something, to feel relaxed enough to be open to that moment and also have one’s humor button turned on. Certainly to be receptive to the possibility something being funny or said in fun helps. Otherwise a lot of scowling can be going on. We want more sunshine in the house!

Words Less Used?

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Sometimes when you see or hear a word or expression you wonder, why don’t we use that one more often? Do we remember the meaning? Words like “thwarted”, which isn’t a wart with a lisp , but rather means to be prevented or blocked from doing something. It is nice to find words that describe exactly what is being experienced. Remember when we were learning the meaning of words as a child? It felt like a struggle to enlarge one’s vocabulary, wondering why we needed more words to mean a similar thing, like sad. Maybe nowadays we use the word depressed too much instead of alternates, like sad or could say melancholy and better describe our pensive reflection? Would we get another’s good attention if we said we felt melancholy?

How about being “hoodwinked,” as in tricked or deceived ? That feels kind of lighter sounding and allows one to laugh at oneself to say they were hoodwinked. “Downtrodden”describes a person who is beaten down by life and their circumstances, maybe even grey in appearance. In the dictionary it has a strong meaning of being abused or oppressed by people of power. Do we tend to now use the definition of words used in the past more than the words they originally defined? Hmmmmm

To be “cheeky” is more a British term, like to be fresh or outspoken. It is fun to incorporate new words to describe our feelings or a situation as it gets people’s attention if they haven’t heard it before. Gobsmacked was used by an American actress in a TV interview and the interviewer and most of the audience didn’t know the word. Perhaps they were gobsmacked. “Gobsmacked “: to be utterly astounded; flabbergasted.

Being “vexed” over something, to be perturbed or worried; or how about using “surly:” gruff, sullenly ill-humored ? That could fit many of our current life experiences or feelings. Maybe we can reintroduce some less used words and phrases into our day to day and gobsmack some friends?

A Light Post

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It’s the Summer Solstice, the day of the year with the most daylight and the shortest night here in the Northern Hemisphere. This calls for a Light post 🙂 Enjoy!

Grow Belonging

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Grow belonging. A rare word combination, yet its’ meaning seems clear. The idea that humans seek to belong, and the feeling of not belonging is referenced often in the ways we might feel separate or on the outside of something. Yet what if we each had the ability to “grow belonging”, to nurture and tend to those belonging seeds for ourselves? Then as time moved along our sense of belonging would grow, and it would be ours, inside of us.

In some cultures and communities people are asked “Who do you belong to?” meaning who are your people, ancestors or relatives. Many of us may not feel we belong to anyone or any group even if we can answer that question. Maybe someone’s belonging is situational, meaning as long as you have that job, or live in that neighborhood, or are married to that person, you belong to that group and have an “identity”.

But external connections can shift and change. In those cases, then who do we belong to, or where? Belonging to oneself seems a new possibility to consider. Especially having the ability to “grow” it.

Grow belonging. Maybe when we find ourselves in new circumstances, like a new community or experience, we can also find ways to share our authentic self as we grow belonging. No matter our age we may need to grow belonging in new and different ways as our life takes new turns or changes. Ideally we know how to grow those belonging seeds, as well as keep them healthy.

A World of Change

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The Beginning Comes After the End: Notes on a World of Change is an interesting and relevant read. Longtime climate and human rights activist Rebecca Solnit shares with us her insights, years of research and hope in her 2026 book. A passage stood out and seemed worth sharing.

Solnit wrote ” I have seen history itself unfold, and this witness has been one of the things that brings purpose and exhilaration to my life as a writer and citizen of this earth. I have seen change. As Jonathan Schell once wrote of how revolutions unfold in the imagination first, Individual hearts and minds change; those who have changed become aware of one another; still others are emboldened, in a contagion of boldness; the ‘impossible’ becomes possible; immediately it is done, surprising the actors almost as much as their opponents, and suddenly, almost with the swiftness of thought–whose transformation has in fact set the whole process in motion—the old regime, a moment ago so impressive, vanishes like a mirage. Not always. But sometimes.” (pg 27)

Yes, we are in a world of change. No doubt we each are experiencing the change in different ways yet few of us can say that it isn’t happening. Guess we best hang onto our hats 🙂 and be part of the good change we say we want in this world.

May every day be International Women’s Day

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March 8, 2026 is International Women’s Day. A version of this day was first reported February 28, 1909 in New York City. Many countries make it a big holiday and ensure it is a day to appreciate the contribution women have made and their continuing fight for equality and safety. It seems strange that half the human population has to fight throughout history for basic rights that the other half enjoys.

We found these quotes of interest and worth a ponder:

“Women belong in all places where decisions are being made.” ~ Ruth Bader Ginsburg

“We all require and want respect. Man or woman, black or white. It’s our basic human right. ” ~ Aretha Franklin

“Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less.” ~ Susan B. Anthony

“ It has been women who have breathed gentleness and care into the harsh progress of mankind.” ~ Queen Elizabeth II

One could argue that to thrive humankind needs an equitable present and future with women in all places where decisions are made.

Changing Systems

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“We cannot solve a crisis without treating it as a crisis….And if solutions within the system are impossible to find, then maybe we should change the system itself?” ~ Greta Thunberg, activist.

The systems of rules, laws and regulations we live by are made by man, meaning when our human-made systems interfere with the quality of life and treatment we thought inherent, then yes systems can and should change. Change, especially within systems be it a family system, a community system or a traffic system, the will of the people needs to be present to create relevant change. A wise or truth-telling person can be amongst us but until enough of us listen and begin to act on it, that wisdom and truth changes little.

It is hard for many of us, or even those before us to have been able to predict or prepare for the world and emerging systems that are dominating our lives right now. How could we? It seems dark energy has been used to work around the “mainstream and official” systems in place, creating unbelievable far-reaching oppressive ones. Trusting and law abiding citizens have had their trust used against them. Most of us are still digesting the depth and breadth of this corrupt world-wide system we are learning more about. Did we turn a blind eye to questionable things happening in our families, neighborhoods or countries over the years?

We do seem in a crisis. There are bigger words to use but ultimately this appears to be a global crisis. Slowly the layers are getting peeled back. Once past the shock we start to understand how our global systems paved the way for this dark system to get entrenched. Maybe we are thinking this is not fiction or conspiracy theories anymore but a shadow system that has been fed and growing for eons?

What to do? We rise by lifting others, and as one saying goes, “A rising tide lifts all boats”. May we each be part of that rising tide in our own corner of the world and care about all the boats, not just our own. To use our voices and our personal power to be the lift and the light for one another, illuminating the change we seek in all of our systems.