I heard a great truth the other day.

A bully is just a coward in hiding. 

Ideally, the longer one is on this earth there are truths that become evident because of that time and experience one has had to watch and learn. I agree. Bullying is cowardly behavior. A courageous person does not take the offensive. There is no need. Yet a bully’s fear level is high for whatever reason. And that often looks like anger. Bullying is a form of attack, to keep others off balance, put them on the defensive…. for the bully’s reasons, not anyone else’s.

Depending on whether it is a bully on the playground or in high level politics, the point of bullying is to attack and manipulate.  Those attacked are forced to react to the attack rather than seeing behind the bully’s motivation, like what the bully might be hiding. Maybe it is like the shell game the magician does, with 3 shells on a table, one hiding a  pearl, yet with fast hands the viewer loses track of the shell with the pearl underneath. The bully stays on the offensive, coming out of left field or attacking unexpectedly , so his “victims”  are looking at one thing (the shells)  while the bully’s true issue is really something else. That behavior is not courageous in my mind.

Courage is knowing yourself, speaking your truth and doing no harm. Manipulating others can be masterly I suppose, yet I would rather see a world where we used our creativity for connecting ourselves to one another rather than alienating people through attack and the bully’s fear. And bullies blame others and don’t take responsibility for their actions it seems. And why does a bully act like a victim, as though he/she has been wronged?

If we knew what the bullies in our lives were afraid of maybe we could bring down the decibel level and start some constructive conversations. And imagine if the bullies knew what they were afraid of and started to take responsibility for it? Mmmmm, just imagine.


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