“No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to
another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out
roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The
greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind
themselves.” ~ Amelia Earhart
Author Anne
Whose Your Tribe?
Who are the people you pull close to yourself in times of good and challenge? Who do you tend to look out for and want to help if you can? Who do you find easy to trust and care about? To work with? Some people talk of having a tribe as a means for moving ahead in ones career, to develop a tribe made up of those folks who help us, open doors of opportunity for us, and have our back and vice versa. An article covering tips for life and work, posited that excelling at work and life aren’t about merit, but actually the tribe mentality. The author claimed men better understood than women that merit and fairness don’t really matter or factor into someone getting a raise or promotion etc. If you are part of a tribe that looks out for you and vice versa, that is how many people succeed.
Is that a tribe in the Whitehouse? If a leader trusts his tribe, like his family, then naturally he would bring them along with him and together they have that belief, history and practice.
Whose your tribe? Or do you believe that doing good work, meeting deadlines, coming within budget alone, that merit will matter? Meritocracy is a myth according to some people. It makes sense that having people to function as a tribe of sorts, can lift everyone. Is that what we see in fraternities, government parties, families that run organizations and countries? When is a tribe healthy and unhealthy? Loyalty is good but could blind loyalty get in the way of one’s own inner compass and values if you had to ignore how you felt in order to go along with the tribe?
A supportive tribe, with healthy opportunity for dissent and problem-solving sounds ideal. And working together to bring the tribe along, using all the various gifts, talents and experience for the greater good is something worth supporting. If the tribe is open, curious and welcoming to new members, then perhaps within that model merit also would have its’ place, and would matter.
Moving Around
For those of us who have lived in many places over our lifetime, a young friend leaving for university, gave me this quote she found online:
“You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.” – girlgi.com
We both found comfort in it, as between us, we do have friends and family all over the world. Often we look at those who still live in the same town where they were born, are deliciously happy and wonder why are we thousands of miles away from our beginnings? Yet our choices make us who we are, and there is a richness in loving and knowing people in one place, or in more than one place. Savor what is.
Remembering
During World War I, there was a soldiers’ truce over Christmas, and opposing armies got out of their trenches to share food and wine. Times were civilized, acknowledging one another’s humanity in the face of atrocity, meaning having to kill another human you might call friend in times of peace.
Below is a beautiful singing vignette highlighting this unusual break in war time during WWI. This video was sent to me today, Remembrance Day by my 95 year old mother in Canada. She has experienced more than me, and teaches me daily about aging deliciously. Thank you Mom.
Remembrance Day WWI Tribute
Remembering
Fireplace
What is the comfort in sitting in front of a roaring fire? Fire is one of the basic elements along with water, that many of us enjoy being near. I’m sitting in front of a fire this cold afternoon right now. Ahhhhhhh.
Growing up we had a pretend cardboard fireplace for Santa when we lived in apartments. At 3 and 4 years old I believed Santa used that fireplace to visit us. My 9 year old brother obviously had to go along with it. It didn’t burn or work in any way. It just was a picture of a red brick fireplace and black mantel on cardboard, that folded it’s sides to stand up along a wall. It was cute and just a Christmas time decoration. Some executive was creative to think of that and my mother to buy it. I don’t recollect seeing one since.
When we moved into a real house, it had a real fireplace in the living room. Learning to build a fire and keep it stoked is an important lesson for all northerners. How to be patient, add enough paper, air and kindling to create a starter heat and flame before logs can be added. Patience is key. And the right draw of air and circulation going up the chimney. The art from of building a good working fireplace and chimney key. And now sitting in front of the fireplace to enjoy the crackle, heat, wood smell and orange flame is a reminder of simple home pleasures from the past through to this moment.
Words
Have you found that sometimes words get in the way of understanding? Is that why we feel we understand our animals so well? No words come from them to us, yet we feel understood and connected?
With verbal humans sometimes it seems the best thing to do is to summarize what you think the other person said, and wait for him/her to agree or clarify. How many misunderstandings are because those involved have a slightly different meaning for or association to the words used? Checking for meaning when in discussion is one of the best lessons to learn as a means to reduce conflict, misunderstandings and misinterpretations.
Humans and conflict seem to go hand in hand. Misunderstandings or conflict are regular occurrences between and among humans, be it with a partner, neighbor, or country. It is how we approach conflict that determines the outcome. Are we threatened? Angry? Jealous? Curious? Confused? Surprised? Is our mind open or are we closed minded? Do we address it, listen, bully, attack, deny , bury it, or stuff it?
Many of us long for opportunities to talk through our different viewpoints, listen carefully to one another, consider, take time for reflection, and be curious to understand and be understood. That seems the true way to reach fresh and sustainable solutions to what we face.
Relax
My friend has this on her site, and it gave me pause for reflection.
Gratefulness
How much is gratefulness and appreciation a part of our everyday? Keeping a daily journal about all the things we are grateful for, regardless of our circumstance, is a kind and uplifting practice. And even fun. I will have to start that. I have tried it now and again as part of being appreciative of my life. And it is lovely when I’m in that frame of mind to remember.
If the “glass of life” feels half empty, we might start a short list of what we are grateful for, including breathing, or having clean sheets on the bed when we are sick, or to have a tree to stand under when it rains. Mother Nature offers us a lot to be grateful for, and she is so generous, no matter who we are or what we do.
By looking at ways we can be grateful right now in this moment, rather than lament for external things we may not have, is a lift to oneself. Did western culture get sidetracked and distracted with wanting stuff? How did we come to believe more stuff, more possessions, more botox , more products, would lead to happiness and fulfillment? Is there a quick fix to feel good, grateful and appreciative? Is it an inside job, meaning something we have to do individually for ourselves? It seems we have to work through why we feel unsatisfied in our life. Meaning we have to feel our feelings , not buy our way out of it. And sitting quietly for a few minutes each day, to list a couple of things we may feel grateful or appreciative, is a nice new step to invite into our lives.
We have so much to cultivate and nurture inside ourselves, a garden really. Maybe we forget to water or fertilize our inner selves, which can affect our energy and thoughts. Yet when we are ready, and give it the right love and attention, our inner garden will grow, bloom and be luscious. That is something to be grateful for, that our garden may be dormant, or struggling through some weeds, but it is always ready to grow and bloom from the seeds of gratefulness we sow.
Daily Om
I love this site called Daily Om. I wanted to share it as sometimes we all need something inspiring, kind and thoughtful to arrive in our inbox each day as a way to lift up our thinking. Check it out. Subscribe if the spirit moves you. There’s no charge, and it is a lovely gift to oneself.
Where are the Sages?
Remember in history when communities and leaders relied on their Sages or Wise Advisors to weigh in before making big decisions that affected their people? There was a respect and appreciation for the advice of the quiet, observant wise sage, and his/her voice was factored into the decision to be made. A good Sage took the bigger picture into consideration. There was respect for their opinion. Sages were privy to the issues, and had taken various points of view into consideration. This offered a calmness to the warrior energy to wait and hear and consider before rushing off to do battle for example.
The Sage or Wise Advisor energy seems absent. Or maybe it is present but no one is listening, and hasn’t been for decades. To make good decisions, a family, a neighborhood, a country, a government needs our Sage voices. And to listen. A Sage person is sensitive to what is going on around them, they see patterns and potential missteps and also possible glorious steps and solutions. A Sage doesn’t scream, create drama, or demand attention. In the western culture a Sage might get steamrolled or mowed over, even in a meeting, saying the wise thoughtful thing the group needs to consider but they overlook or ignore it. Maybe it is inconvenient?
The louder voice seems to have gotten the attention, as though speaking loudly and first equals decisiveness, rightness and confidence. I’m not sure acting confident is the same as having a well thought out plan and considering the longer term view. Many of us can act ways that have no foundation. Of course it is nice to think someone has thought something through for us, and their confident enthusiastic idea reflects our best interests too. Gosh, then it feels easier to go along and agree with them. But without a Sage voice or process involved, it rarely is a good decision for long. The decision or direction breaks down, creates different problems, maybe even harm and has to be revisited and figured out again.
Impatience might be part of why we don’t want to allow for a Sage voice to weigh in or a process that includes their point of view. A Sage contemplates, and that takes time. Is quick better? Quick might work for those wanting to get their way, because they are just seeing it from that narrow view, and that can be quick. But if we are part of decisions that will impact more than just ourselves, then we need to listen, take the time to include other voices. That is the best way to ensure we will have solutions we don’t have to keep revisiting. Taking the time and inviting a Sage or two, and listening, really listening, we will make different kinds of decisions, and ones that will work better for the majority affected.
Slowly it may be happening in certain groups and communities. We may see examples of the return to the inclusion and respect of the Sage voices to the decisions-making within our families, communities, business, politics etc. Hopefully we seek the Sage voice to be part of decisions ,as was done in earlier times.
When we don’t have Sage voices in the room, we get what we are getting, and that isn’t working for most of us. It isn’t a hard thing to do, it is a mere shift. Probably a shift in leadership style is needed too, from the old authoritarian model to something more current and participatory. A key shift is to ensure all voices are represented at the table, they are heard and it is reflected in the decisions made. It might feel threatening to those wielding the power at the moment, but truly, sharing the power and decisions, and making wise decisions that include more voices, will be more successful and effective overall.
This is my Sage musing of the day.
Ageilicious 