Sharing a recent post from the Daily Om Newsletter http://dailyom.com

Just being here, being ourselves, is enough. Most of us have the feeling that we are here to accomplish something big in our lives, and if we haven’t done something that fits the bill we may feel as if we are waiting. We may feel incomplete, or empty, as if our lives don’t yet make sense to us, because they don’t line up with our idea of major accomplishment. In some cases, this may be because we really are meant to do something that we haven’t yet done. But in most cases, we can let ourselves off the hook with the realization that just being here, being ourselves, is enough. As we live our lives in this world, we share our energy and our spirit with the people around us in numerous ways. Our influence touches their lives and, through them, touches the lives of many more people. When we strive to live our lives to the fullest and to become our true selves, we are doing something big on an inner level, and that is more than enough to make sense of our being here on this planet at this time. There is no need to hold ourselves to an old idea in the back of our minds that we need to make headlines or single-handedly save the world in order to validate our existence.We can each look within our hearts to discover what is true for us, what gives our lives meaning, and what excites us. We can release ourselves from any pressure to perform that comes from outside of our inner sense of purpose. Staying in tune with our own values and living our lives in tune with our own vision is all we need in order to fulfill our time here. Our lives are a process of becoming so that we cannot help but co-create; being who we are, responding to each moment as it comes, we can trust that this is enough.

What’s a touchstone? It is different things to different people. It could be a meaningful keepsake , like a stone picked up on a special hike, a memento of some kind, or a piece of jewelry. Perhaps when we feel we are about to face a large moment in our life, we seek out that touchstone to wear or carry with us to give us strength and help ground us.

The word touchstone originally meant a stone that represented the standard or quality in which others things were measured. A more current meaning for touchstone is a special item we keep with us to touch, see or hold as needed. It could be most anything if we feel it is special. A touchstone could be something we buy on purpose to have with us like a polished stone, or maybe a watch we inherited. Our touchstone may offer a feeling of connection to ourselves, or the person who gave it to us, or even to a physical place that holds meaning.

Presumably a touchstone contains good energy for us, the holder, something we want to emphasize. It might feel sacred, meaningful, or have a sense of comfort associated with it. Rose quartz is said to have healing properties for our hearts and emotions. When going through a tough time we might make sure we have our rose quartz touchstone with us for a sense of calm and added emotional support. We might even have a quartz crystal on a window sill or hanging from our car rearview mirror as a reminder or protector of some sort. Maybe it is a patron saint medal, or a piece of fabric or figurine that we hold dear. It could be a special rock we picked up on a particular walk or place, and now we have it as a significant keepsake.

Having tangible reminders with us can be grounding in times when we might feel wobbly. A touchstone can also be a sweet gift to give another person, in their time of need. To touch a stone, a touchstone, it is a comforting item we can hold onto to help us feel supported and connected.

What does it mean, to re-craft or be involved in re-crafting? We might be familiar with using words like “reframing” how we look at something, or changing the stories we tell ourselves. In that same vein, the practice of living the life we say we want might seem like an art form at times as we grapple with feeling or thinking or reacting differently than we once did. Ebb and flow. Maybe some of us flow along like in a river, and life seems to take us on the journey. If we are going where the energy is, where we naturally feel YES! then that is an ideal path and journey.

Using the idea of re-crafting a situation, or our feelings towards a person, or maybe even this phase of our life, that is part of changing our story. If using the idea of a craft like working with clay, then to re-craft is to reshape the clay, situation or story to better reflect or capture where we find ourselves now. That seems part of living and aging deliciously. Maybe it is called being resilient?

Some have said they no longer feel like the person they were before the pandemic. Is that part of being re-crafted whether voluntarily or through necessity? Does it depend on how we like the change and whether we felt we had choice? Re-crafting in the positive sense is the act of being the one doing the creating and adapting, redoing what has been done. Maybe taking something, even something we had little choice, and remodeling the way we do it, the way we experience it, and even talk about it with others.

Re-crafting is a creative act. Creativity is a healing endeavor, and most of us feel good when we are involved in a creative pursuit. We can get cranky when we aren’t feeling creative. So for example, do we re-craft how we cook, and experiment with ingredients because maybe access to ingredients changes over time and we adapt? We can embrace it, and in the process we re-craft how we experience and view things so that they better support us and match who we are in this point in time.

When we speak of breathability we often are referring to fabric. Does the fabric breathe? Does the air circulate and permeate it, like with cotton? But what about ourselves, our breathability? Breathability is a feeling or the contrast from being wound up or tense, to the change in our bodies of relaxing, our chest opens and we can feel our full breath moving. Breathability. Ahhhhhhh.

Sometimes feeling that shift to body openness can catch us by surprise. Maybe we didn’t know we were holding our breath or not fully relaxed. Like at bedtime, that little letting go as we lie there. Our days can be crazy. We are tensing up and holding on just to get through the day, working through our to-do lists. Even if our to-do list is full of things we want to do, we still might tense up, as a way to power through things.

A shift to breathability might come upon us unexpectedly. Maybe as we are awed by nature , or enter a room with our dearest person inside, or just feel the busyness of the day has stopped and now there is time to sit for a moment. Breathability can be a physical and emotional shift. It seems the whole chest cavity fills up at the same time as it relaxes all the muscles around it. Often we aren’t aware of how much we are holding in; in our muscles, in our hearts, in our minds…well, until we are not holding anymore.

The feeling of breathability can be spontaneous and can take us unawares. The gift can be once we are aware, we might choose to slow down in the run of a day, and take a few deep breaths in an effort to capture a longer moment of breathability.

The idea and practice of lingering came to mind. We talk often of wanting to connect with others. One way is to not rush off when bumping into someone we know, but rather lingering, and taking the time to have a few meaningful exchanges. Many of us do rush off. Maybe we are busily booked, or uncomfortable to linger for some reason. Certainly if spending a little more time with that person or group doesn’t appeal, then there is no good reason to linger, yet when organic moments present themselves, lingering can help build connections.

Some of us learned to “run off” once the appointed time or activity was scheduled to end. We might be the first to leave. We might feel uncomfortable or in the way. Yet many of the meaningful exchanges and feeling of understanding can come from those unexpected moments when we “stay put” or linger. Many a precious and unexpected conversation can happen when we aren’t in a rush, and maybe just at ease enough to linger a couple of minutes and show curiosity about a person or further a conversation.

If all our time is planned and we scoot from one thing to another without a bit of grace time in between, or taking a moment to linger, we might be missing out on deepening a connection we say we want. And as we age deliciously, a part of that is growing those connections and being available for a bit of lingering.

No matter one’s age, we all are more interesting and interested when we are curious about the world, other people and new things. Curiosity needn’t stop when we reach our 60s or 90s. Those who ask thoughtful questions, mingle with new people at parties… well those are interesting people and interested.

Sometimes we have encountered folks in their 80s or older and their interest in anyone or anything new seems non-existent. When we meet such a person, we might get more of a litany of their ailments or worries, or advice based on a long-gone experience. At times, as much as we love them, we may feel we are keeping them company in their comfort zone yet there’s nothing “delicious” we can expect in return, or maybe even real connection in the present.

And of course, there are many people aging deliciously. Signs of aging deliciously might look like signing up for new courses, traveling to new places, curious to learn, serve and meet new people. Probably those of us with more curiosity about life and living than fear or resistance to it will be living and aging well?

Personal life curiosity and form of expanding oneself can have its’ moments of “oh nooo” if we put ourselves in a beginner mode of a new thing. To not be good at something at first, or not familiar with the people or circumstance can be scary, or what we might avoid as we age. Yet, by choosing to stretch ourselves, be curious about others, sit with new people in a group, be willing to be a beginner sometimes, that energy helps expand our view of life and our time of life.

A simple way to calm ourselves and get back into the moment is to take three deep breaths. We could be waiting in line at the supermarket, behind the wheel in traffic, standing on a busy street corner, or about to have a tricky conversation. Or maybe we just feel anxious and not sure why.

The simplest tool at everyone’s disposal is to take three deep breaths. That deep breath is a way to reconnect to ourselves and the moment. It can help anchor us. Maybe shift how we feel. A deep conscious breath slows us down and also brings more oxygen into our bodies. Many of us are shallow breathers, so now and again a few deep breaths can be a healthy shift towards calm.

A few deep breaths can be a simple yet elegant gift you give yourself throughout your day.

We need more conversations. And to clarify, a conversation is when we listen, are curious, consider the other points of view, and keep adding to the conversation in ways that may illuminate or expand on the topic, moving it forward. We aren’t arguing or attacking, no. We are listening and feel curious about what is being said, and what we might learn.

We may be getting out of practice of listening, allowing other points of view to intrigue us rather than threaten us. There is a school of thought that to be part of a true conversation, that in that space, many problems can actually be solved. Have you ever been in a great exchange session where you could keep building and building on what was just said or offered? Without fresh input we rarely come up with real creative solutions. When we are invited to participate, meaning we aren’t being shut down, then amazing new thought connections can be made. It is exhilarating.

How can complex long standing problems get solved, really solved, if we aren’t open and really listening? Or if we keep attacking the speaker? Or get attacked? We can be hard on ideas, but not on people. In a relaxed conversation, where it is understood we are going to listen, be curious and consider, that energy can lead us to see helpful solutions emerge. Or certainly an inspired discussion that provided good reflection.

We can assist in initiating more conversation in our day to day lives, be it in our homes, work or play. Conversation requires some open ended questions that might start with How, When, or What.We may feel shut down by a conversational opportunity with remarks like “That’s stupid”, or You are so….”, or Why would you say that? or …..well, you get the picture. What we say can put an end to any chance of a real conversation, or fully open it up.

True conversation seems a rarity, maybe an art we need to initiate where we can. To be part of a conversation that welcomes all voices and no one person is dominating, announcing or holding court. Imagine!! Give it a whirl.

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. This seems one of those times.

Is listening a form of love we give to another person? Have you noticed when you have the full attention of another person, and when they add on to the conversation it is evident they were listening to our words and intent? It seems true that listening to another in those important ways, is an act of love. In these hurried, fragmented times between appointments and devices our own listening patience may be fragmented too.

Do we expect someone’s focused attention when we are sharing something that makes us feel vulnerable? Aren’t those the times we can actually get closer to another person, in sharing our vulnerabilities? As we know, to be vulnerable takes a lot of courage. And trust.

Our listening gene and time may seem changed in terms of how we now best communicate in the age of ever expanding social media and apps. Personal sharing and vulnerability is usually a one-on-one act, not in a group necessarily or on Social media. Some of us may be out of practice, yet a way to show love is to listen to another person we care in ways that are about them, not ourselves. That often means we give them our undivided attention and they feel it.

If you’ve been a good listener or have someone in your life you know is a good listener, then that is an act of love.