Author Anne

Launching Ageilicious YouTube Channel

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As a nod to a new year coming, it seemed a good time to complete a longtime goal of setting up a youtube channel as a way to direct people to Anne’s productions. With tech changing so fast, the dvd copies of her work will be harder for people to find a way to play them. And a channel makes it easier to share. Hey, maybe the dvds become a speciality collector set of coasters! (Now that’s a quirky thought.)

AGEILICIOUS now has her own Channel that includes Why Get Married? the 2005 documentary appearing in 8 short “chapter” links and the TV pilot Quirky View parts 1 and 2 . Quirky View and Why Get Married? include guests from both NM and Newfoundland so you may recognize yourself or someone you know. Anne’s TED X TALK on cooperative producing is also available. And you may discover a few other project links there.

Check out our menu for the channel link, share it, and/or visit the channel directly here. https://ageilicious.com/ageilicious-youtube-channel/

Creating this channel feels like an important way to honor and share one’s work produced over the years. As part of aging deliciously it seems to matter how we share ourselves and our accomplishments, both past and present with others. Not to boast or be selfish, but to share with good spirit so there is more opportunity for connection in the now.

Yes No

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” When you say yes to others make sure you’re not saying no to yourself.” –– Paulo Coelho, Brazilian lyricist and novelist.

Sometimes we are asked to do something, help, run for office, to show up in some way which may be the right thing to do. Yet we also need to ask ourselves is it the right thing for me to be doing right now? It might be the right thing to do, but it actually may be better for someone else to do it, not us. That is an interesting way to check in with ourselves. In our earlier years we may not know what is the right thing for us to do for ourselves. We are still learning and figuring out that kind of stuff. We can’t learn without the experience of how some things feel or the effect they may have on us without us saying yes.

Maybe we want to be generous and kind towards others, yet again, we need to make sure our “tank” is full first. Or at least half full before we start offering our “yes” to others. This really is a reminder to check in with ourselves as we move along in our life. Our energy changes. Our inclinations toward how we can best contribute or participate changes or shifts. And the gifts we can offer as we move along in the living years changes too. We (hopefully) are a tad wiser with age, wisdom coming with knowledge and experience, and that wisdom is part of knowing when we can say yes to others without saying no to ourselves.

Hold the Moment

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These days we often are reminded to stay present, breathe, slow down, be in the now, be mindful; all are different ways to get our attention to be in our bodies. Of course we have to make plans into the future or we’d never get anything done, yet there is a way to be aware in the present as we plan ahead. And for dwelling in the past, we can find ourselves ruminating on something that happened months or years ago. The best place to spend as much time as possible is RIGHT NOW. That can mean savoring each detail of our cup of tea or coffee as we make it, from the cup we choose to our favorite spot to enjoy it. Or how we pay attention to our pet when they come to us for attention, maybe noticing the feel of their fur, eye contact and that tail action. As a human, often our thoughts are elsewhere rather than enjoying the simpleness of where we are and what we are doing right now.

Sometimes a special moment finds us, we feel it and want to capture it in our mind’s eye, to commit it to memory. Beyond reaching for a camera, we can remind ourselves to “Hold the moment”. Have you ever been in a situation you know you want to remember, and somehow give yourself a hint to be able to retrieve it when need be? Maybe your parents are dancing in the kitchen, or you have a laughing attack with a dear friend, or it is snowing the first day of summer. “Hold the moment” often pertains to the feeling inside of us the moment evokes. It seems another way to appreciate something special as it is happening right in front of us.

Fill Your Boots

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Here’s a sweet original British expression you might have heard, “Fill Your Boots”. It has a few meanings but generally it is accepted to mean enjoy yourself, take full advantage of an opportunity, or to do something with enthusiasm. It usually comes in the form of hearty encouragement from someone else, to another.

In contemplating a second helping of dessert, we might hear “Fill Your Boots”. It isn’t about holding back but encourages us to take and do more…take more good stuff for ourselves. Well maybe more dessert isn’t the best good stuff example, but this is the idea of us being encouraged by someone else to have or take something we might want. And it usually comes from a place of generosity too. It can pertain to most anything, be it things or an experience. Another expression along these same lines is “Have at it”, meaning go for it.

Newfoundland was part of Britain until 1949 when it became part of Canada. Of course Newfoundland to this day is steeped in their centuries of British traditions, language, and sayings. Fill Your Boots is just one of many.

Hey, maybe try it out on someone and see if it gets attention, or understanding. Or it might just get weird looks if they happen to be wearing sandals? HA

Growth

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Many of us keep our favorite sayings, quotes or wise thoughts in one place, be it a book or file , something we can easily find when in need of comfort or inspiration. Leo Tolstoy kept a collection of daily thoughts selected from the world’s sacred texts during his time, from late 1880s to early 1900s. Some of these texts were banned. Tolstoy collected and printed them in book form as “A Calendar of Wisdom”. This was his last published work, and censored for nearly a century, yet for him he saw these 365 pages as daily thoughts to nourish the soul.

British author Matt Haig in 2021 published what he calls The Comfort Book, made up of notes, proverbs and stories as his way to find wisdom and comfort during tough times. Below is from Matt on page 76, titled “Growth”, which seems in keeping with our aging deliciously theme and maybe a comfort for the times we find ourselves.

“We grow through hard times. Growth is change. And when everything is easy, we have no reason to change. The most painful moments in life expand us. And when the pain leaves, space remains. Space we can fill with life itself. “

When something rings true for us it can feel like wise comfort and hope. Books and words can be mentors to be kept near, and returned to often.

Frenzy

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It feels like we are in some kind of frenzy on the planet right now. Frenzy defined as a violent agitation, mania, a craze, temporary madness or delirium. Yes, that is what it can feel like when we hear all the goings on in this moment. Sometimes it can seem hard to discern what is what. If memory serves, we are not used to so much intense calamity piled on top of one another, again and again, over and over. Part of the calamity includes a sense of chaos without any grown up style resolution or problem solving. It feels like we are being constantly pummeled with never-ending gobsmacking events worldwide. We don’t want to become numb but it also is hard to be available daily to process the latest whatever and figure out what action or response might be ours to do. With constant news of chaos and violent acts, it can feel like a hate frenzy of some sort when taken in all at once. Overload and harsh.

And what happens to a frenzy? Does it wear itself out? Get something sobering poured on it suddenly to drop the voltage? And in the face of frenzy, what do the rest of us do? What is the opposite of being in a frenzy or part of one? Being in a calm, cool and collected place? Sounds like we need to pay attention to ourselves, or inner selves to stay in a calm, cool and collected state so as not to feed the frenzy around us, and in the world. And support others around us who also want to stay calm. We can support each other in a frenzied worldwide time. Maybe our calmer energy can help to quiet the frenzied energy? Let us trust that is how this works.

As Winston Churchill said, ” Stay Calm and Carry On”.

Self-Actualization

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Self-actualization, or being the best a person can be is considered one of the higher evolutionary needs of being human. Abraham Maslow, a prominent American psychologist in the 1940s developed this theory. He identified that humans had 5 levels of needs that motivate them, a hierarchy if you will. Imagine a pyramid shape, with level 1 starting at the bottom. Maslow’s theorized that there was a natural progression of needs for an individual and until one level was met it wasn’t possible to be motivated to the next level.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs theory states that until Basic Physiological needs (level 1) are met (having enough water, food and shelter) then a person cannot think much beyond their survival. Once Basic needs are met then Safety needs (level 2) come into focus. This includes ways to keep oneself safe through having stability, security of sorts etc. A person needs a foundation and build each level onto that. Level 3 is about Love and Belonging which is that of connection to others, intimacy, family, friends, community. Esteem is something earned over time as part of Level 4, that sense of respect, social status and recognition in the larger world but also self- esteem.

For level 5, Self-Actualization, in Maslow’s era it generally became part of one’s latter years, when one retired and had more leisure time. (Yet in recent decades with more leisure time, many people seem to get involved in self-growth and actualization well before age 65.) Maslow saw an interest for some people to question, seek in an effort to be better versions of themselves, for self-improvement and self-fulfillment. To reach self-actualization required engaging in introspection, exploration and contemplation. This is a big part of human development, motivated to seek and understand more about ourselves and the world.

To age deliciously, would this be considered level 5? With knowledge earned, certain experiences under our belt, plus more opportunity for self-exploration, would it seem remiss to not ask more of ourselves in terms of being our best? We can make time to quietly reflect and contemplate our own reactions in a situation and how we might wish them to be different ? Or if we paused we could change the direction of an interaction or our own internal awareness? What happens when we fully listen and don’t feel a need to say anything? Or what makes us feel agitated inside our body? Paying quiet attention is active when we actually are listening, feeling, checking in with ourselves in the moment. It can lead to a conscious and powerful shift.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs doesn’t assume that every person works through each level in their lifetime, particularly if their basic needs haven’t been met. Yet is a hierarchy still valid? Might now we be more likely to flow through the needs differently? Astrologist Pam Gregory suggested for example, in this current potent planetary energy, we have the opportunity to become our own spiritual hero.

The process of self-actualization might be compared to when the oyster has to deal with sand inside their shell. The sand is an irritant and the oyster wants to feel better so it works around it, eventually creating a beautiful pearl. Through discomfort and paying attention to ourselves in new and honest ways, it can lead to important changes, or pearls of wisdom. We can add these pearls to our life strand and journey. Honest self-exploration seems a healthy aspect of aging deliciously, taking the opportunity to look within, again and again.

The Idea of Deserving

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In reading the novel “Sister of My Heart” by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni, a line on page 301 stood out.

“… love is never about deserving, is it? Nor is hate. “

Whether this sounds like a truism or not, it seemed curious enough to ponder. We might not often think about the deserving part of feelings, like love and hate. In terms of deserving hate, what came to mind were the innocent or unprovoked ways one might be on the receiving end, like being born a certain way or in a certain place. How do these feelings manifest?

Years ago a sociology professor discussing “isms” tried to illustrate the value of being aware of our own personal worldviews. She described the worldview as the individual lens we each see through and filter our own experiences. Whether we grew up in a nuclear family, orphanage, poor, well off, healthy, sickly, male, female, skin color, country of origin etc, all those things and more make up our personal worldview and “biases” through which we experience the world. We may not want to change our worldview, but it seems important to understand what it is and own it. Our choices and behaviors emerge from our specific worldview, a worldview if not examined, we might think is everyone’s way of thinking, feeling, or responding.

We might be acting on an unexamined feeling or bias, one particular to ourselves; a micro experience rather than a larger shared view. For instance, maybe we had a strong experience with a red-haired person. We might then have an unexplored bias against anyone with red hair; maybe an aversion, never hired them, dated them etc..Or the opposite. A bias towards red haired people. Whichever, we had a feeling and then acting on it, in this case, affecting our response to red haired people.

“Knowledge is power” as the saying goes. And another one (Plato?) is “An unexamined life isn’t worth living.” Circling back on this notion …” love is not about deserving it, nor is hate.” It takes courage to invest in self-knowledge, to understand our motivations and our worldview, whether we want to make changes or not. At least we might better understand our own “love and hate” responses.

Mind Clutter

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Over the years we have heard and learned more about the idea of downsizing, simplifying, decluttering or being a minimalist. Usually we are talking about our material stuff; downsizing or decluttering our homes, organizing drawers, or maybe simplifying our spending or our lifestyle. But what about our minds? There can be a lot of chatter and debris in our minds that can weigh us down, get us off track or just be exhausting. So a minimalist attitude to life might naturally include our minds because our thinking is a big part of how we function, decide, engage and experience life.

Maybe our mind is full of old clutter that we might keep cycling through just out of habit, like thinking about an event in the past the same way, over and over, seeing the same “reel” or thoughts, with no better feeling or outcome? Can we choose to be a minimalist in our thinking, at least in those areas we are aware do feel cluttered and aren’t helping us? Maybe worry, or an over analytical thinking process are some ways clutter can get piled up?

We can learn to interrupt our thoughts. It begins with first being aware of what we are doing. Without that, no change or shift is possible. Yet to imagine one’s brain as more minimalistic in terms of unwanted clutter, then that can be a beautiful endeavor. Maybe bring to mind a time when we felt relaxed or a place in nature that allows us to go “Ahhhhhhhh.” Just that pause, and notice, could help shift the mind clutter in that moment, and shows us that we can interrupt those habits.