When someone negatively implies “You are x, y, z”, we are beginning to realize that any attack of sorts can often indicate he/she might actually be x, y, z themselves. It isn’t us at all. Isn’t that interesting? That for eons we may have responded defensively , feeling attacked or criticized in some way, and only upon greater reflection and consideration, realize that what we’ve been accused, may actually be the speaker’s own issues or motivations. They may assume we are like them, so they see what we do or say through that prism, which may be so unlike our own it is hard to fathom. We are attacked for something so contrary to how we see ourselves. Is it hard for a generous person to imagine others would be selfish? Or for a selfish person to imagine others could be generous? Do we have a difficult time imagining others could be motivated differently than us so in a situation where we feel triggered in some way, we project?
Do the kindest among us often find ourselves on the receiving end of the critical and yet also untrue projections of others? And because we are kind we give it consideration, taking it as a potential learning opportunity? It seems we are waking up to the idea that an attack or projection of others is how they “deal/don’t deal” with their own pain and issues. Rather than dealing with the feeling or pain, he/she projects onto someone else and makes them wrong in some way. The new shift in paradigm, is to reconsider a criticism, or attack, especially when it feels off base and weird. That behavior can be an indicator of that person being x, y, z, not us.
We seem at a crazy time on our planet world with more and more people unable to responsibly handle their own emotions and issues. Rather than taking on these projections, we need hand them back. Kindly, yet say something like, “This feels more like projection than how I experience myself or this situation.”
Is there evidence that that is how we are? Have lots of people who know and love us said the same thing? If so, then yes, look at it, consider and contemplate, and even ask for help as to how to be kinder in that area to yourself, and others.
Yet if there is no evidence in your life that you are or act in x, y, or z kind of way, then it is strongly possible that person is projecting, and “accusing” you of behaviors he/she exhibits or even motivations or even fears that he/she may have. It can be good and helpful information to better understand the projector. Best to breathe, pause, pause, pause, feel clear and kind, and understand it is more about how the projector relates to and sees the world and very little about us.