I hadn’t realized how good I looked without my glasses. Meaning, if I don’t have my glasses on when I look in mirror I appear better to myself than with them on.  I didn’t fully realize that until lately, with my new prescription glasses. When I tried on the frames in the store, naturally they are just plastic lenses so one has to get close to mirror to figure out if the frames suit. Yet one gets the general sense of it, whether the frame shape and color work with one’s face. And good to get a second opinion.

So today I tried on my new glasses. As I really looked at the glasses and myself I realized  this image seems more detailed and lined than this morning. What happened to the softer version I’m used to seeing? I need glasses for farsightedness so I rarely wear them at home. I guess I rarely see myself through the  corrected vision. Actually a photograph is the only other way and I guess few of those are close ups.

No doubt others have more experience with my face than I do. They’ve seen the changes occur over time, and are familiar with how the lines and skin move when I’m animated or still. I don’t. I know what it feels like to be on the inside looking out, or what age I may or may not feel on any given day.  The face in the mirror is changing and today I saw it more clearly and in more detail. Granted my face was just looking, not animated. A face has beauty when it has life and is expressive, which most of us don’t see in ourselves, in those real authentic moments when we are out in the world, living and being.

Change is life. I remember my Uncle saying when he was in his late 80s, that he felt he was the same person inside. He felt the same as he always had throughout his life, yet when he caught sight of himself in the mirror he was shocked, like “Who is that old guy?”  What he saw in the mirror got farther and farther from how he still felt inside.  I can imagine now how that could be.  Part of Uncle’s approach was to avoid mirrors.

I feel like my spirit and heart benefit from the longer I live as I have more time to be in quest mode, and grow, practice and become aware. That can feel like a lightness in my heart and spirit. I am much lighter in my heart than I was 30 years ago, hands down. The physical self responds differently to time and gravity.  I remember hearing “Youth is wasted on the young”. I think they meant the physical body part of youth.

Maybe I’ll just continue without my glasses when I look in the mirror, or embrace all the changes life brings, loving what is. Or do both. Probably best to do both.

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