Hold the Moment

These days we often are reminded to stay present, breathe, slow down, be in the now, be mindful; all are different ways to get our attention to be in our bodies. Of course we have to make plans into the future or we’d never get anything done, yet there is a way to be aware in the present as we plan ahead. And for dwelling in the past, we can find ourselves ruminating on something that happened months or years ago. The best place to spend as much time as possible is RIGHT NOW. That can mean savoring each detail of our cup of tea or coffee as we make it, from the cup we choose to our favorite spot to enjoy it. Or how we pay attention to our pet when they come to us for attention, maybe noticing the feel of their fur, eye contact and that tail action. As a human, often our thoughts are elsewhere rather than enjoying the simpleness of where we are and what we are doing right now.

Sometimes a special moment finds us, we feel it and want to capture it in our mind’s eye, to commit it to memory. Beyond reaching for a camera, we can remind ourselves to “Hold the moment”. Have you ever been in a situation you know you want to remember, and somehow give yourself a hint to be able to retrieve it when need be? Maybe your parents are dancing in the kitchen, or you have a laughing attack with a dear friend, or it is snowing the first day of summer. “Hold the moment” often pertains to the feeling inside of us the moment evokes. It seems another way to appreciate something special as it is happening right in front of us.

Self-Actualization

Self-actualization, or being the best a person can be is considered one of the higher evolutionary needs of being human. Abraham Maslow, a prominent American psychologist in the 1940s developed this theory. He identified that humans had 5 levels of needs that motivate them, a hierarchy if you will. Imagine a pyramid shape, with level 1 starting at the bottom. Maslow’s theorized that there was a natural progression of needs for an individual and until one level was met it wasn’t possible to be motivated to the next level.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs theory states that until Basic Physiological needs (level 1) are met (having enough water, food and shelter) then a person cannot think much beyond their survival. Once Basic needs are met then Safety needs (level 2) come into focus. This includes ways to keep oneself safe through having stability, security of sorts etc. A person needs a foundation and build each level onto that. Level 3 is about Love and Belonging which is that of connection to others, intimacy, family, friends, community. Esteem is something earned over time as part of Level 4, that sense of respect, social status and recognition in the larger world but also self- esteem.

For level 5, Self-Actualization, in Maslow’s era it generally became part of one’s latter years, when one retired and had more leisure time. (Yet in recent decades with more leisure time, many people seem to get involved in self-growth and actualization well before age 65.) Maslow saw an interest for some people to question, seek in an effort to be better versions of themselves, for self-improvement and self-fulfillment. To reach self-actualization required engaging in introspection, exploration and contemplation. This is a big part of human development, motivated to seek and understand more about ourselves and the world.

To age deliciously, would this be considered level 5? With knowledge earned, certain experiences under our belt, plus more opportunity for self-exploration, would it seem remiss to not ask more of ourselves in terms of being our best? We can make time to quietly reflect and contemplate our own reactions in a situation and how we might wish them to be different ? Or if we paused we could change the direction of an interaction or our own internal awareness? What happens when we fully listen and don’t feel a need to say anything? Or what makes us feel agitated inside our body? Paying quiet attention is active when we actually are listening, feeling, checking in with ourselves in the moment. It can lead to a conscious and powerful shift.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs doesn’t assume that every person works through each level in their lifetime, particularly if their basic needs haven’t been met. Yet is a hierarchy still valid? Might now we be more likely to flow through the needs differently? Astrologist Pam Gregory suggested for example, in this current potent planetary energy, we have the opportunity to become our own spiritual hero.

The process of self-actualization might be compared to when the oyster has to deal with sand inside their shell. The sand is an irritant and the oyster wants to feel better so it works around it, eventually creating a beautiful pearl. Through discomfort and paying attention to ourselves in new and honest ways, it can lead to important changes, or pearls of wisdom. We can add these pearls to our life strand and journey. Honest self-exploration seems a healthy aspect of aging deliciously, taking the opportunity to look within, again and again.