Tag healing

Frenzy

Anne 7 Comments

It feels like we are in some kind of frenzy on the planet right now. Frenzy defined as a violent agitation, mania, a craze, temporary madness or delirium. Yes, that is what it can feel like when we hear all the goings on in this moment. Sometimes it can seem hard to discern what is what. If memory serves, we are not used to so much intense calamity piled on top of one another, again and again, over and over. Part of the calamity includes a sense of chaos without any grown up style resolution or problem solving. It feels like we are being constantly pummeled with never-ending gobsmacking events worldwide. We don’t want to become numb but it also is hard to be available daily to process the latest whatever and figure out what action or response might be ours to do. With constant news of chaos and violent acts, it can feel like a hate frenzy of some sort when taken in all at once. Overload and harsh.

And what happens to a frenzy? Does it wear itself out? Get something sobering poured on it suddenly to drop the voltage? And in the face of frenzy, what do the rest of us do? What is the opposite of being in a frenzy or part of one? Being in a calm, cool and collected place? Sounds like we need to pay attention to ourselves, or inner selves to stay in a calm, cool and collected state so as not to feed the frenzy around us, and in the world. And support others around us who also want to stay calm. We can support each other in a frenzied worldwide time. Maybe our calmer energy can help to quiet the frenzied energy? Let us trust that is how this works.

As Winston Churchill said, ” Stay Calm and Carry On”.

Mind Clutter

Anne 1 Comment

Over the years we have heard and learned more about the idea of downsizing, simplifying, decluttering or being a minimalist. Usually we are talking about our material stuff; downsizing or decluttering our homes, organizing drawers, or maybe simplifying our spending or our lifestyle. But what about our minds? There can be a lot of chatter and debris in our minds that can weigh us down, get us off track or just be exhausting. So a minimalist attitude to life might naturally include our minds because our thinking is a big part of how we function, decide, engage and experience life.

Maybe our mind is full of old clutter that we might keep cycling through just out of habit, like thinking about an event in the past the same way, over and over, seeing the same “reel” or thoughts, with no better feeling or outcome? Can we choose to be a minimalist in our thinking, at least in those areas we are aware do feel cluttered and aren’t helping us? Maybe worry, or an over analytical thinking process are some ways clutter can get piled up?

We can learn to interrupt our thoughts. It begins with first being aware of what we are doing. Without that, no change or shift is possible. Yet to imagine one’s brain as more minimalistic in terms of unwanted clutter, then that can be a beautiful endeavor. Maybe bring to mind a time when we felt relaxed or a place in nature that allows us to go “Ahhhhhhhh.” Just that pause, and notice, could help shift the mind clutter in that moment, and shows us that we can interrupt those habits.

The Benefit of Conversation

Anne 7 Comments

Ruptures or difference of opinion in a conversation can actually strengthen our human connection when we also repair them.

Here’s a quote from Dr. Perry page 256 in his 2023 co-authored book “What Happened to You?”

“Conversation promotes resilience; discussions and arguments over family dinners and mildly heated conversations with friends are—as long as there is repair–resilience-building and empathy-growing experiences. We shouldn’t be walking away from a conversation in a rage; we should regulate ourselves. Repair the ruptures. Reconnect and grow. When we walk away, everybody loses. We all need to get better at listening, regulating, reflecting. This requires the capacity to forgive, to be patient. Mature human interactions involve efforts to understand people who are different from us. But if we don’t have family meals, don’t go out with friends for long, in-person conversations, and communicate only via text or twitter, then we can’t create that positive, healthy back-and-forth pattern of human connection. “

Conversation of this sort seems to take practice, particularly to stay with it when it might get really uncomfortable. How many of us stick around? Or know how to? More and more it can feel risky to say what we really mean or is on our mind, even to express innocent curiosity about something. Depending on how well we know someone could influence what level of risk we would want to take in a conversation. Hmmm, does this seem a different dynamic and consideration for us in 2024 than 5, 10 or 15 years ago?

If we have had an experience with someone and had ruptures of understanding, but stayed with it to do the repair, then the relationship grows and is stronger for it. We can strengthen ties to one another in real time, with face-to-face exchanges as a means to develop deeper human connection and understanding. The desire for repair needs to be mutual, yet that mutuality is a beautiful thing, truly. Are we missing out on having meaningful conversations in our day-to-day/week-to-week lives? A good conversation experience can be enlivening, energizing and connecting. Now who doesn’t want some more of that?