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Offline Communication

Anne 2 Comments

This seems a funny term but one that is being used more lately. Offline communication is the idea that if more of the online and social media way of “connecting” is taken offline, meaning more personal and private way of sharing and conversing, then some of our human desire to feel closer and maybe more “seen” by one another will increase.

To those of us a tad farther down the road of life, online communication is the form we had to learn to take on, forcing replacement in many ways of the “offline”communicating that had been the norm for most of our lives. Offline communication would include all things smaller in scope and more personal in sharing nature, like phone calls, writing letters, meeting in person, and now maybe emails and texts with fewer recipients. Words like FaceTime co-opted much of our true face time, meaning meeting in person, face-to-face. We might feel we are staying in touch with more people by posting our daily activities or liking something posted, but are we? Do we feel special when someone we follow posts about their life to whomever is on their site? Is that a message particularly for us? It used to be that if we wanted to ensure loved ones knew about our life or activities we shared it personally, and that seems to be the meaning of offline communication, especially in turbulent times. And offline communication speaks to the idea of privacy, where even for work, the meeting and ideas are closed rather than open to random, possibly uninformed comments.

The main way for comfort, and tending and mending for our communities is to be personal and specific. Otherwise we can feel isolated and disconnected which can be a consequence of too much online communication. Using online communication exclusively rarely brings anyone closer, and it may not be making us more knowledgeable. Information does not necessarily lead to knowledge, but can lead to information overload and emotional fretting.

Maybe more offline communication allows for fuller and deeper conversations, and certainly more opportunity to really connect with others. We may be out of practice with offline communication, so finding some folks that are good at it and hang out with them is one way to learn. Or go on dog walks, start a conversational salon, join a book group, or just suggest going for coffee or wine with a person or people you like or would like to know better. Also at work, more offline communication may be less chaotic with fewer misunderstandings, and could help with finding better solutions because spending time communicating offline can be more patient than online. Taking more time can lead to more productive discussion, consideration, breathing space for response. And in the long run, can save time rather than revisiting the gaps overlooked.

Pauses are good. We need more pauses. We need to slow things down versus the endless stream of online communication we can be faced with and not feel in charge of anymore. Let’s take it offline, at least aim to add more offline communication to each of our days, everyday, and see how that feels. xoxo

Are We Sure?

Anne 1 Comment

It seems the idea of conversation, and it’s importance is a theme here of late 🙂 Ramona, a reader, left a comment about “Fierce Conversations”, and with Maureen’s gift of that book, it has sparked this post.

Author Susan Scott of “Fierce Conversations” believes that all of our relating, be it at work or in our life, is done through one conversation at a time. Whether we are direct or careful, fully say what is on our mind, or tip toe, each conversation builds on the one before, and that is our relationship. Scott gives examples of those who just nod yes at the work meeting because the boss doesn’t take well to disagreement, yet that can lead to dire consequences for a business because no one person has the full perspective, able to see from all angles. Or someone having their head in the sand so to speak, and many others can see it, are frustrated by it, but say nothing knowing it won’t be well received.

For any of us, the idea of keeping an open mind, and to not assume our point of view is right, that is a practice many of us are challenged to do. Or may not be aware we do it. No matter our good intentions or open minded beliefs, when presented with an uncomfortable exchange, be it small or large, our habit may be to seek safer ground. Maybe we keep our voice quiet rather than explore this different point of view. The truth for each of us might seem obvious and for us has held up over time. Yet, Scott says, whatever we are sure of, don’t be. Naturally, we want to be sure of things, and life is gentler when we are agreed with or not shown something we ignore or don’t want to consider. Yet how will we be different or how will the world be the change we say we want if we aren’t open to honest conversations, meaning really sharing what is the truth in our head we don’t often say out loud? If we are careful with people because we know the emotional landmines and limits, are we learning or growing or stretched in any significant way? To some of us, this may matter, to others maybe not?

This seems a time on our earth we need to have more fierce conversations. This means to speak our truth rather than our habit to avoid the uncomfortable with our loved ones or work colleagues . It seems being willing to share our real points of view, and to hear others in a mutual way, our conversations will be more about relating, and getting to the heart of the matter for ourselves and those we come in contact. And that seems a cleaner and healthier way to live. Otherwise we end up with the consequences of all the less than fierce conversations we have had, because we couldn’t bring it up. And often then there is suffering. Maybe our’s. Maybe their’s. Maybe both.

So, whatever we are sure of, don’t be. Let’s be open to consider we don’t know or may not be right. Maybe we get fiercer, more honest so that our relationships are more connected and honest and we can act on that clarity. There is a kind way to delve and bring things up, and in doing so, it shifts old habits and lifts old burdens. Even if the answer is I don’t know or I haven’t thought about it, Scott asks, well if you did know, what would you answer or if you had thought about it…just ways to not let it drop or allow people to cop out. Not easy, but a new lens to consider.